No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
