I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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