Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
MIDGETS
????
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize