You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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