I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
