It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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