is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
