There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Is it because I queefed?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
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your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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