just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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