Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
