i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
