I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
