I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
