So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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