in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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