it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
