It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
