if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize