areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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