He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
