how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize