it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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