I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
