Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
