Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
