I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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