I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
