oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
