Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
