atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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