Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
