bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
