I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
