i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
