I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
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you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
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The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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