He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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