He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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