fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
my liver is dry heaving
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
