I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
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Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
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Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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