Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
