We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Damn victory sex feels great
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
