dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
