You surviving the open bar?
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I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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