just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
