did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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