it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize