JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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