While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
