Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
