STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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