so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
