I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
