You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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