i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
