you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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