At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
