so explain again why im purple
no
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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