dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
