my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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