Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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