I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
