dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
