apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
