Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
