so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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